Why wellness feels so hard
Aug 7, 2025
If you’ve ever felt like you’re the only one who finds wellness harder than it should be… welcome. You’re not broken. You’re not lazy. You’re not weak. You’re just trying to be human in a world that runs on machine logic and caveman software.
Yes, you read that right.
Let me explain.
The invisible tug-of-war
You genuinely want to feel better. You mean to go for that walk, prep that lunch, or say no to that second cupcake. And yet… you don’t. Or you do, but it takes every ounce of effort and then some.
And then comes the shame spiral.
But here’s the thing: your body is doing exactly what it was designed to do.
Our human software evolved in a very different world than the one we live in now. Back then, survival meant:
Conserving energy (so your body resists movement)
Seeking high-calorie food (hello, cravings)
Avoiding unnecessary risk (new activities = potential threat)
So when you say, “Let’s cut back on sugar, walk every day, and go to bed early,” your brain doesn’t cheer. It panics. It thinks: “Are we f*ckin dying??”
You’re not failing. You’re in a neurological tug-of-war between your goals and your instincts.
Meet the cast: Lizard, Mammal, and Toddler
The human brain is kind of like a family sitcom. It has three main characters:
The Lizard (Brainstem) – Focused on survival. Reacts fast. Thinks in black-and-white. Doesn’t care about your goals. Just wants to stay alive. And reproduce.
The Mammal (Limbic System) – Emotion-driven. Social. Rewards or punishes based on feelings and relationships.
The Toddler (Prefrontal Cortex) – That’s your thinking brain. The one trying to do better, make plans, and remember your why. Absolutely adorable… but too young, so can't vote yet.
So when you’re tired, stressed, or hungry, guess who takes over? Yep. Not the planner.
Why the modern world makes it worse
Our world isn’t just mismatched with our biology—it actually exploits it.
We sit all day, then feel guilty for not wanting to work out.
We’re surrounded by hyper-palatable food engineered to light up our reward centers like a Christmas tree.
We’re praised for being productive, not for being well.
And we’re expected to “just have discipline” while being chronically under-rested, overstimulated, and under-supported.
No wonder it feels like such a fight.
Wellness isn’t just about doing the “right things.” It’s about doing them in a world that constantly pushes back.
But here’s the good news
Knowing this could be liberating. Because it’s not a character flaw—it’s a mismatch. And once you know the game, you can stop blaming yourself and start playing smarter.
Start by:
Designing your environment to make wellness easier (remove triggers, add supports)
Building routines that feel good—not punishing
Giving your brain evidence that this new way of living is safe, rewarding, and worth repeating
This is exactly the kind of work I do with my clients. No shame. No hacks. Just real change, rooted in reality.
Your body is not the enemy. The rules were just rigged. Let’s rewrite them.